Many have asked how mom and dad have been. I don’t have much of an answer these days. Since they returned to South Carolina in December of 2022, we haven’t had many conversations. It’s been rather silent and sad if I’m honest. I admit I was angry and hurt when dad came to Atlanta to move mom back to Rock Hill. I wasn’t angry at them but frustrated with the choice they were making. I knew it wasn’t good for them and the distance that they were going to put between us was too great. It’s hard to help when you are 4 and 1/2 hours away from each other. Plus, we had done a lot to get her here and we were hoping that this would be her home, as well as my dad’s home. But alas, it just wasn’t a fit for them. My frustration and anger have been replaced by apathy. I’m embarrassed to say that, but if I’m being completely transparent that is the word that comes to my mind. I haven’t lost a passion for loving them, but a passion has been lost for the hope that I had for them being here and living close to our family. I still pray for them daily. Their life is extremely difficult no matter where they live.

I knew full well that mom wasn’t happy here in Atlanta, and all she wanted was to be with dad. Dad, I assume, felt guilty about the distance between them and didn’t like seeing her unhappy. Because he was unwilling to move to Atlanta, the only option was to take mom back to Rock Hill. I know that neither of them loved Atlanta nor did they see it as a home for themselves. They didn’t like the traffic; they wouldn’t have the same neighbors or doctors. It would have been a hard reset and certainly not an easy one. Rock Hill was familiar and, in a sense, easier because of that familiarity.

I’ve talked to them only a handful of times. They hired a caregiver, but she’s already said she can’t continue to work for them and has found another job. They’ve exhausted their efforts with elderly or nursing homes in the area. Elderly homes are not equipped to handle mom’s care in accordance with dad’s expectations. Rightly so, his expectations are high. He wants his bride to be cared for with the utmost concern and respect. He isn’t willing to let go of much control. As of February 12, 2023, he has cared for her for 14 years. He certainly knows how to do it by now. He knows what works, what doesn’t, what she likes, what she doesn’t. He knows, like nobody else, he knows. However, after 14 years, he’s tired. But he still keeps caring for her and she for him. It is an incredible and heartbreaking love story.

To answer the question that so many are asking, my parents seem to be doing fine, all circumstances considered. The caregiver comes to help when she can, but they are actively looking for a backup. Mom is the same as she’s been, no new health issues that I’m aware of. My dad’s health seems to be good from what he says. He’s been back on the tennis court a couple times. He still makes many trips to the grocery store, cooks, cleans, and does laundry. Most importantly, he takes care of all of mom’s needs on a daily basis. It’s a lot for a man who is pushing 80 and suffered a stroke. I assume they are content with the decision they made to be at home in Rock Hill. I haven’t heard otherwise. I guess all is well, or as my dad says, “other than that, things are just ducky.”