We’ve all heard the cliche “Home is where the heart is.” And if you read scripture, you are familiar with the verse from Matthew 6:21 that states, “Where your treasure is there will your heart be also.” But what do these words really mean and are they true? I’ve spent time recently reflecting on and examining these statements against my own life and the current situation in which I find myself with my parents.

It is clear that my dad is my mom’s treasure. Therefore, her heart is with him and wherever he is. She can’t make Atlanta her home because he is not here. Much to my chagrin, my dad has remained in Rok Hill while mom has been here in Atlanta. Once the doctor gave him permission to travel, he did come for a visit. However, next week, he will visit and then take mom back home. They will be 4.5 hours away from all three of their children and their families. I struggle to accept their decision, but I know I have no choice. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that my dad won’t move here and make this place home. When I tell the story to others, the natural question is, “Why doesn’t your dad just move here?” I don’t know what to say or how to respond. I don’t have an answer for that question. Quite honestly, I feel somewhat defeated because I don’t know why he wouldn’t want to make Atlanta his home with his whole family being here. What is it that holds my dad’s heart, and furthermore, why doesn’t his family do that? Why does his home have to be in Rock Hill?

I know, as a believer in Jesus Christ, that our treasure is not found here on earth. Our treasure is Jesus, and our home is ultimately with Him in heaven. But there is this in-between time, with which we have to deal. So, as we wait for our future home, we make this world our temporary home. We build houses of out brick and wood and call them home. We find things that we love and call them treasures here on earth. We hold all these things dear, hopefully not gripping too tightly, but always being willing to adjust and change, remembering these treasures are only temporary. However, I wrestle with the stubbornness of my dad and his decision to remain in Rock Hill and even take mom back there. He doesn’t loosen his grip, and he doesn’t want the change. He holds tightly to the comforts of his life in Rock Hill, his home, his treasure. Would it be easy for him to move here? Not at all. Maybe that’s the simple reason for all of this. It’s just too difficult. Whatever the reason, I’m slowly learning to embrace the reality of his decision that Rock Hill is their home, even though it isn’t my choice.

Recently I was talking to a dear friend who is a few steps ahead of me in life. She and her husband do not live near their grown children. After reading my last post, she told me that she and her husband are taking notes for the future. She doesn’t want to make life difficult for her grown children when the time comes that they would need help. I am sure my parents feel the same way. However, what I think my parents fail to realize is that being 4.5 hours apart makes things very difficult. My siblings and I can’t help them in the way we want to. We can’t be there for them in emergency situations. Honestly, we don’t want to go through the trauma of having to scramble again like we did when my dad had a stroke. We had put our lives on hold because of the distance between us. We knew what we had to do, and we did it. We did it out of love and honor for our parents.

It was very difficult to establish a home here for mom. We had to set up the doctors, get the power of attorney, arrange medical equipment and supplies, therapy visit, etc. All that seems quite easy but dealing with paperwork, Medicare, and doctors might be some of the most frustrating things one has to do in today’s world! The thought of having to do all that again is intimidating. Don’t get me wrong, we wanted to bring mom here, and we have thoroughly enjoyed being able to visit her and spend time with her. We’ve seen her more over the past month than we were able to see her all last year. It has been a good thing, and what a joy it would be to have them both here! But as my dear friend shared her perspective with me, she said things that resonated with me and gave me insight into how my dad and mom probably feel. She said, “after we finish a day’s work, we like to go to our home, sleep in our bed, and have our time.” She continued to share with me that those small things are treasures. I think she was trying to tell me that even though she wants to take notes and prepare for the future to make it easier for her grown children, she also recognizes the reality of the situation. She was confessing that their life here is comfortable and predictable. It was familiar and it would be hard to leave all that to make things easier for her children. It’s complex and not easy. She was allowing me to see through her perspective as she thought about her future, and maybe she was teaching me to have more compassion. I am thankful for wise words and hard truth that come at just the right time.

All of this mention of home makes me long for my ultimate home in Heaven where there will be no suffering, no tears, no worry, no disappointment, no frustrations, no anger, and no pain. This life is hard and often sad. It’s filled with disappointments and things out of my control. So, I have no choice but to find the joy in the midst of the struggle and move on, trusting my Treasure, until He brings me home.